Reckoning
by Leydhawk
Summary: Set in season 2, through the time jump into season 3. A psychic doctor comes aboard seaQuest for help from Wendy with her abilities. As she learns control, she gets to know the crew and grows especially close with Jim Brody. Separation, reunion, and a final reckoning. Please be kind, this is my very first story I'm posting here, written many years ago. COMPLETE


Dr. Wendy Smith had been called into a private conference with Captain Nathan Bridger and sat facing him across a table in the wardroom.

"We've had a request from the medical division of the UEO, and it concerns you. A young doctor at a new UEO hospital in New Britain had a breakdown today, and they think you can help her," Bridger said without preamble.

"What kind of breakdown?"

"A psychic breakdown."

Wendy looked at him incredulously. "A psychic breakdown?"

"That's what they said. One of the locals was able to sheild her initially, and now they don't know what to do. She asked UEO Command for assistance, and they recomended that she come on board _seaQuest_ and receive some sort of training from you."

"If she's had late onset of her psychic sense, a school would be a better place for her," Wendy offered.

"It isn't late onset. She's apparently been an active psychic since childhood, with," he looked at his notes, "'instinctive control that was more than adequate'." He shook his head. "Not at all adequate, it seems."

"Nathan, I don't have to tell you how unusual childhood onset of psychic senses is. Who is she?"

"Her name is Lise Dawson." Wendy's eyes went wide.

"I've heard of her," she said. Bridger looked questioningly at her. "She's a child prodigy. She finished medical school at somthing like 12 or 13 years old, and she published a number of papers on very innovative uses of psychic senses in treatment when she was an intern and resident." She frowned. "Did they give you any details on her breakdown?"

"Dr. Dawson filed a complete report on the incident herself," he pushed a folder across to her. She opened it and scanned the contents quickly.

"I'd definitely say she needs help. Since she feels that her control is weakening, I'd trust her. It sounds to me like the instinctive control she'd developed as a child wasn't as complete as control consciously learned as a normally developing psychic's. I may have to start all over with her, but she'll probably fight it because my way isn't the way she's been doing it for years. She's going to have to re-learn a lot."

"So you think you can help her?"

"Yes, I do."

"What is the risk to the crew?"

She considered that. "Not very great. I'm one of the strongest psychics the UEO has. If anyone can control her, it's me."

Bridger nodded. "I'll send the okay. We'll rendezvous tomorrow morning."

From the doorway, Wendy smiled. "You know, it may be good for her to have someone to relate to here," she said. Bridger looked up at her.

"Lucas?"

"He'd make a great tour guide, and if he can take whatever time he needs to continue to make her feel welcome…who knows?"

"Are you a matchmaker now as well as a doctor?" Nathan asked, obviously amused.

"It makes sense. We can at least give them the opportunity. It will be good for Lucas, too. He doesn't get much of a chance to interact with people his own age, let alone someone he has so much in common with."

Bridger threw up his hands. "He can take whatever time he needs as long as there are no emergencies, alright?" Wendy laughed.

"Like you hadn't already planned on this anyway…" She said as she left the room.

Captain Bridger chuckled to himself.

Wendy and Lucas Wolenczak met the launch as it arrived. The young woman who stepped out had a decidedly sour expression on her face, and Dr. Smith sensed resentment from her. All Lucas saw was an attractive girl near his age.

Lise Dawson straightened her shoulders as she saw the waiting doctor, then quickly came down the steps. Taking a deep breath and shoring up her crumbling psychic shields, she put out her hand.

"Dr. Smith, thank you for agreeing to this," she said as they shook.

"Please, call me Wendy. And this is Lucas Wolenczak, _seaQuest_'s Chief Computer Analyst. Lucas, Lise Dawson," Wendy said. Lucas' hand shot out to take Lise's.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Dawson," he said rapidly.

"It's Dr. Dawson, actually, thank you," Lise said, uncertain why he was there.

"Uh, of course, Doctor," Lucas flushed, and Lise was struck by a wave of his embarrassment. She frowned slightly and focused on her shields again. Wendy looked closer at Lise, opening to her more and sensed how close to the edge she really was. She was having to keep a large part of her conscious mind on shielding. The young woman must be having terrible incursions into her mind as she slept with other people's dreams overwhelming her. Wendy noticed the dark circles under her eyes and the pinched expression around her mouth and nodded to herself. This girl really needed her help.

"I had thought that Lucas might give you a tour of the ship, but maybe we should get to the lab right away," Wendy said. Lise looked at her sharply, the resentment flaring until she got a hold of it. Wendy watched her take a deep breath then sensed a complete shield slam into place. She saw a flush rise in the girl's cheeks, but that was the only indication of the effort it took for her to block.

"No, a tour would be fine, thank you," Lise stated firmly. Wendy nodded.

"Well, come to med-bay after lunch, then, all right?" Wendy said. Lise frowned, then remembered that the boy was supposed to take her around and agreed. It was difficult for her to think when she had to concentrate on blocking, but she knew that Wendy would enforce her own shields on her if she didn't, and she'd had all she wanted of that when her gift surged initially. She understood the need for help with her training from Dr. Smith, but she resented having to leave people who desperately needed her. She shook herself, splitting her attention back to her surroundings.

"Lead the way please, Lucas," she said. He stammered and stuttered his way through a good bit of the tour before she finally lost patience.

"Okay, I think I have the general layout. I'll be able to get anything else I need from a schematic. Can you take me to where I'll be staying now?" She said, interrupting a dialogue about the hydro fluxes or something. Lucas looked surprised and a bit miffed at being cut off.

"But I haven't showed you the—"

"Look, I was just flown from New Guinea to Florida with no layovers and a roommate who snored. I'm tired. Show me to my room. Please," she added. The boy's jaw hung open. Lise waited for a moment, then turned and started back toward med-bay. Her room was probably near there.

"Wait, Doctor—Lise, I'll take you, just hang on," Lucas pounded up behind her. She motioned for him to lead the way. He did, not speaking until they stopped outsider her cabin.

"Your stuff should be inside," he muttered. He was radiating dejection that seeped through where she had relaxed her vigilance. She sighed and turned to him, putting her hand on his arm and catching his eyes.

"Thank you for the tour, Lucas. I'm sorry I was so abrupt," she said, forcing her voice to sound sincere. Lucas flushed.

"You're welcome," he said. The corner of his mouth turned up as she continued to look at him, and she smiled back, feeling a little bad for this kid.

"I'll see you later," she said, and went into her cabin.

Lise's hands shook as she searched through her worn duffel bag and came out with a small electronic device. She set it on the nightstand and flipped a switch. Lights came on, and a low whir came from the device as it electronically blocked the rest of the consciousness' on the ship from her mind. She sighed and sank down onto the bed, dropping her defenses. The lines of tension on her face drained away, and she lay back for a few minutes, letting herself relax for the first time since she'd left Kimbe. She only allowed herself five minutes of respite, knowing she couldn't let herself become dependent on the machine and not really liking the total bock it supplied. She switched it off and took a deep breath as she prepared to reset her mental shields. Something distracted her, a personality on the ship, someone with a shining beacon of purity and strength of character. The beauty she felt in that person made her breathless. She'd only ever sensed anything like it once, when she'd linked her mind to a dying patient, an old man who'd smiled as he died. She let her psychic sense study the person in wonder for a moment, but she knew she needed to close her shields up again, and reluctantly did so.

The soft chime of her watch let her know it was time for lunch, even though she wasn't hungry due to the time difference. She straightened her clothing and headed for the cafeteria.

Walking into the cafeteria, Lise's shields were momentarily overwhelmed by the presence she'd felt before. Carefully, she cracked her defenses and looked around the room, trying to find the mind she sensed. The presence at this close proximity was blindingly bright, but like the warm feel of the sun on chilled skin, he also felt lovely. He was there, sitting by himself, a sandwich halfway to his mouth. He had dark blonde hair, and she could see the line of a strong jaw and pronounced cheekbones. With a shaky breath, Lise closed her shielding. Only the sense of him just dimmed, it didn't fade completely. She focused, pouring her entire consciousness into the effort. It dimmed further, but she had to give up, her energy spent, long before he was blocked totally.

After getting her food, Lise headed straight for him. She stopped at his side, and he looked up, his face open and welcoming. She liked the slight smile lines around his gentle eyes and wide mouth.

"Hello, I'm Lise Dawson, I just joined the medical staff today. May I join you," her eyes dropped to his rank insignia. "Lieutenant?" He smiled, and his lovely eyes sparkled.

"Of course, Ms. Dawson. I heard Dr. Smith was getting a new assistant," he said, rising and pulling a chair out for her. She stifled a chuckle at the gallantry, but accepted the seat.

"I'm Lieutenant Jim Brody," he said, resuming his seat. He admired her as she sat and arranged her tray. She had creamy pale skin and dark hair and eyes. When those eyes met his, he felt a moment of vertigo, and looked away from the sensation of falling into them. '_She can't be more than 18, Jim, get a hold of yourself_,' he thought. '_But maybe Lucas…_'

"Ah, third in the chain of command," Lise said, feeling almost giddy at the nearness of his overwhelmingly unsullied energy projection. His eyebrows rose.

"That is correct, ma'am," he said.

"Oh, please, just Lise," she laughed. He liked the easy sound of it.

"Okay, as long as it's just Jim," he replied.

"While we're off duty—agreed."

"Are you in medical school?" He asked as she was taking a bite of her sandwich. She almost choked. She swallowed carefully and took a sip of water before replying.

"I'm a full MD," she said. He looked uncertain, and she saw the gleam of interest in his eye.

"Uh, I know it's not ever polite to ask, but—"

"I'm nineteen," she supplied. He looked even more confused.

"Are you sure?" He laughed. She smiled.

"I finished medical school at 13, and I've now been a full, practicing doctor for over a year," she recited.

"Sounds like you get that a lot," he said. She nodded ruefully.

"More than you can imagine."

"You know, I know someone you have got to meet," he said after a bite. Just then her shielding weakened and she got a clear image from him of Lucas. She shored up quickly.

"Really? Why?"

"Well, he's a genius, too," Jim said. One side of Lise's mouth quirked up.

"Who says I'm a genius?"

"Come on, you're a doctor and you're 19? How could you not be?"

"You're confusing child prodigy with genius. I just learn quickly. Perfect recall memory helps," she replied, downplaying as much as she could. She found herself attracted to this man for more than the stunning strength of character she sensed. He was handsome and quick witted, and he seemed to be a genuinely nice person. Not that she could imagine a person who felt the way he did being cruel or malicious.

"Well, a few of us are going to get together for cards tonight, and he'll be there. You two seem to have a lot in common. Why don't you come?" He said. Her gaze pensively dropped to the table, and Jim was suddenly full of concern.

"Hey, if you don't like cards, that's okay. You could just be there for the social part, you know—"

"It's not that," she interrupted, looking back up at him. "I'm just…" she stopped, not sure how to explain. "I'm not usually allowed anywhere near a card game," she finished. He still looked baffled. "I'm a psychic."

Understanding with an undercurrent of nervousness poured over and around her shields again, and she closed her eyes to reinforce them.

"Are you okay?" He asked, reaching out and putting his hand on her fist beside her plate. The touch sent a shock through both of them, and he jerked back. Her eyes flew open. He looked into them, and had the sensation of falling. She was so lovely, and he felt like he could dive into and be lost within her dark eyes.

"I'm… I'm all right," she said into the awkward silence. "I—I'd really like to join you for that game tonight, if you think everyone would accept my word that I won't scan anyone."

His smile returned. '_Get a grip, Jim_,' he told himself. '_Diving into her eyes? How corny is that?_' He tried to shrug his reaction to her off. "Of course. Most of us are used to Wendy." He cleared his throat and glanced at his watch. "I'm sorry, I've got bridge duty now. I'll see you later?" She nodded, and there was something so afraid that his leaving was a rejection in her eyes that he took the opportunity to touch her again and patted her shoulder as he walked away. The shock came again, and she managed to keep her face straight until he'd left the room. Then her eyes squeezed shut as the pressure of all the other people in the cafeteria overwhelmed her. That touch from Jim had shattered her shield completely, and she tried to rebuild it as she sat there. And tried. And tried again.

And failed.

Wendy looked up as the med-bay door opened, then rushed to Lise's side as she stumbled in, pale as a ghost and barely conscious. She got the younger woman onto a bed.

"What is it, Lise?" She asked. Lise curled up on her side.

"Shields…gone," she gasped. Wendy immediately wrapped a tight shield around Lise's psyche. Lise let out a long breath at the relief.

"Thank you," she whispered. Her body began to shake with reaction to the terror of being totally submerged in the emotions of the crew of the ship. She closed her eyes tightly, forcing herself back under control. Wendy took her hand and felt her pulse. It was rapid, but slowing even as she noted it.

"Hey, you need to let yourself feel that," Wendy said softly. Lise opened her eyes and looked at her. "It's not healthy to hold it all back, Lise. You have to have normal emotional responses yourself before you can deal with sensing everyone else's." Lise looked at her hard, and Wendy sensed her weighing the words. She was surprised to sense the young woman shifting her mind into a different pathway, one of the openness and acceptance of a student. Lise slowly nodded and closed her eyes again. Wendy frowned, then her brow relaxed as she sensed Lise's fear resurfacing. The younger woman lay on the bed trembling for a few minutes, then she sat up and looked at Wendy.

"Thank you," her voice was shaky. "When, uh, do I get to learn how to do that?"

"I think you have a few other things to learn first," Wendy said. She was a little shaken by the other woman's almost total control over her mind. It was truly remarkable. Wendy knew that she herself didn't have a quarter that much control.

"So what's the first lesson? I'm ready to get this all over with," Lise nodded quickly, setting her jaw.

"It's not quite that simple, Lise."

"Why not? I can learn as fast as you can teach." There was no boasting in her tone, only confidence.

"Well, this isn't exactly human physiology. There aren't textvids for this. I'm really not sure how to even start." Lise stared at her.

"Do you have a plan? Anything?"

Wendy sensed how frustrated Lise was, and how anxious she was to get back to her life, but there was something else, something she was holding close to herself. There was a sense of precious, private discovery about it, and Wendy backed off at how intimate it felt.

"I have some ideas, yes. But I'd like you to settle in here first. I'll leave my shields on you for now, and we can start first thing tomorrow."

Lise nodded, and Wendy felt her reluctance and her resignation. Wendy patted Lise's hand.

"Stay here as long as you feel you need to, then go get some rest, all right?" Wendy suggested.

"I feel fine now. I think I'll explore the ship some more," Lise said.

"I'm sure Lucas wouldn't mind accompanying you," Wendy offered.

"I'll keep that in mind." Lise rolled her eyes as she left med-bay.

Lise entered the quiet of the ship's library and headed over to one of the monitors. The screen came on, but kept asking for clearance codes for the most rudimentary searches. She sighed in frustration, and jumped as a man stepped over from one of the other stations. Having her psychic sense completely blocked was disconcerting.

"Do you, um, need a hand?" He asked. She glanced at his insignia.

"Thank you, Lieutenant," she said. "I'm trying to look up current news reports."

"You have to enter your crew code," he said.

"I just came aboard. I don't have one."

"Civilian or military?" He looked more closely at her, and she turned fully to face him.

"I'm a doctor on temporary assignment to Dr. Smith from a UEO hospital in New Guinea," Lise volunteered. The man smiled, then said something rather garbled in one of the major dialects of New Guinea.

She laughed for a moment, then quickly quieted herself, glancing around the library.

"I'm sorry, I must have slaughtered that, but it's all I know from there. I'm Tim O'Neill, Communications Officer," he said. He stuck his hand out, and she took it, still smiling.

"Lise Dawson. I recognized the language, but I'm not very familiar with it. My hospital is on New Britain, in Kimbe. The language the natives speak there is more like," Lise concentrated and told O'Neill thank you for offering to help in the native dialect. She watched as he cocked his head, obviously thinking. Suddenly a smile lit his face.

"You're welcome!" He exclaimed, and a "Shhh…" came from behind one of the work desks. He looked sheepish and blushed. "Maybe you could teach me some while you're here," he whispered. Lise smiled and agreed.

"I'm not fluent. What I know is really more pigeon than pure, but it gets me by and would probably at least help your pronunciation," she said. He seemed eager to start immediately, and she held him off by asking how she could get a clearance code.

"You should talk to Lieutenant Brody, he's the Security Chief," he started, and noted that she jumped slightly at the name. He sighed, then placated himself with the fact that she really looked too young for either of them. She'd be a better candidate for Lucas.

"I saw him a few minutes ago, and he was heading up to the bridge," she said. "You know, my guide this morning didn't show me the bridge…" she hinted. "But I don't know if that was an oversight or if I'm not allowed there." Tim smiled.

"One way to find out," he said, and nodded to the door. Once out in the hall, he hit the comm panel and asked for Brody.

"Is Dr. Dawson cleared for a tour of the bridge, Lieutenant?" He asked when Jim answered.

"She's medical staff, she should be," Brody replied, and Lise could hear the smile in his voice. "Hang on," he said, and a moment later, "Tim, tell her she's got full clearance. Hey, why don't you see if Lucas wants to introduce her to Darwin?"

"Um, Lieutenant Brody? Can I get a clearance code for the ship's library, also?" Lise leaned in to the speaker.

There was a moment of silence. "I can release it under your voiceprint, Lise. If Tim's going to bring you up here, I'll do that," Brody said. Lise looked over at O'Neill. He nodded.

"We're on our way," Tim said, and released the comm switch.

"So…you've met Lieutenant Brody," Tim said, leading the way to Mag-Lev.

"In the cafeteria." She smiled a little, still thinking of how his mind had felt, and what sweet, gentle eyes he had. The silence lengthened to an awkwardness. "So, who's Darwin?" Lise asked to fill the void as they seated themselves on the Mag-Lev.

"The dolphin," he said. Lise waited.

"And why would Lucas introduce me?" She pressed. Tim looked at her.

"I'll save _that_ surprise for Lucas," was all he would say.

At one of the stations on the way to the bridge, an older man entered the Mag-Lev, and O'Neill snapped to attention.

"As you were, Lieutenant," he said. Lise smiled, realizing who this must be.

"Captain Bridger, I presume?" She said.

"Yes?"

"I'm Lise Dawson. I wanted to thank you for approving my temporary assignment to _seaQuest_." Bridger's eyes gained interest and he turned to face her.

"You're welcome, Doctor. We're glad to have you aboard." He eyed O'Neill. "But I thought that Lucas was giving you the tour?" Lise swallowed her frustration at yet another mention of the rather irritating boy.

"He was. I didn't let him finish, though, and I suppose I should have, because now Lieutenant O'Neill is having to help me out. He was kind enough to assist me in the library, but it seems I need to get my clearance codes first, and Lieutenant Brody is going to take care of that while Lieutenant O'Neill shows me the bridge," she explained. The look on the Captain's face was unreadable, and she regretted the shielding that kept her from figuring out his reaction. "Doesn't Lucas have some regular duties, Captain? I'd hate to take him from them for the whole day." She tossed that out to try to get more information.

"Honestly, Doctor, Wendy and I thought you'd be more comfortable with someone closer to your own age showing you around. And you and Lucas do have a lot in common," the Captain said, and Lise nodded in understanding.

"Well, thank you, Captain, but I am used to being around people of all ages. Please don't let me take up the time of any crew members who are needed elsewhere," Lise said. Bridger had a twinkle in his eye as he answered.

"Oh, I won't, Doctor. Be assured of that," he said as they reached the bridge and left the Mag-Lev.

Lise looked around, awed by the complexity of the bridge, and O'Neill smirked. She noticed the expression.

"Oh, come on, I've been in the middle of a guerrilla war in the South Pacific. Of course I'm impressed!" She exclaimed, and he grinned. There was a chuckle over her shoulder, and she whirled around to see Brody there. She felt her face flush. "Hello, Lieutenant," she said, hoping her voice wasn't as breathless as she felt. Seeing him in the dimmer lights of the bridge made her assessment of him as handsome seem inadequate. The lower light accentuated the angles of his cheeks and jaw. She coughed and looked down, realizing she'd been staring.

"I thought I asked you to call me Jim," he said with a smile.

"You're on duty. I expect it to be Dr. Dawson in med-bay," she replied, her mouth quirking.

"Ah, I see how it is," he winked. "Well, come on over here, and I'll get you your clearances." O'Neill studied the non-verbal interaction between them. She walked after Jim, and Tim saw her watching him closely. Then she leaned in a little too close to look at the screen he accessed. Brody inclined his head toward her as her hair brushed his cheek. O'Neill shook his head and glanced around the bridge, waiting for the dance between Lise and Jim to end so he could show her the bridge. He wanted to talk with her more about the languages of the region of the South Pacific she'd been in. She seemed knowledgeable and she'd been nice to him. And he, at least, would maintain some distance. Or so he told himself.

Lucas was already at the moon pool when O'Neill escorted Lise there and tried to make a quiet exit.

"Lieutenant—" Lise said, and he turned to face her. "Can I call you Tim?" She asked. He nodded. "Thank you, Tim, for your help. Maybe we can work on that language over dinner?"

"I-I'd like that…Lise," O'Neill replied, a slow smile spreading on his face. She nodded and turned back to Lucas and Darwin. He left, feeling much better than he knew he should.

"Jim suggested you introduce me to Darwin," Lise said. "I must say I have no idea why he's even on board. They're wonderful creatures, but…" She shrugged. Lucas grinned and hit a button on a yellow device he held.

"I don't think she meant to hurt your feelings, Darwin. Would you like to say hello? Her name is Lise. She's a doctor," he said into the device, obviously talking to the dolphin. Lise frowned and looked curiously at Lucas. And jumped out of her skin when a computer voice spoke as the dolphin bobbed in the water.

"Lise doctor like Wendy," the voice proclaimed. Lise moved forward immediately.

"That's _him_?" She asked in amazement, leaning over the water. Before Lucas could answer, Darwin submerged and surfaced, then sprayed Lise.

"Lise play with Darwin!" The voice said. Lucas was horrified. He'd never seen Darwin do that immediately upon meeting someone. Usually he gave some warning. He took a breath to apologize, explain, _something_, but was shocked as Lise laughed out loud, a sound of pure delight. She pushed her wet hair back with one hand as the other reached into the water.

"Absolutely, Darwin! I'd love to play with you!" She exclaimed, then glanced at Lucas for a moment. "He can hear me, right?"

"Darwin hear Lise, Lise come play!" Darwin answered before Lucas could gather his scrambled wits.

"What kind of game, Darwin?" Lise asked.

"Lise swim!" Lise laughed again.

"The water's too cold. I'll have to get a wet-suit," she told him, then looked to Lucas.

"Lucas swim! Lise swim!" Darwin insisted.

"I, uh, thought you were jet-lagged, or tired or something," Lucas said, trying to smile and make it a joke to hide his hurt. Lise turned back to Darwin and looked into the small dolphin eyes and big dolphin grin. Her mind played over the last few hours, settling on the pain of the total breakdown of her shields and the confusion of what she'd sensed from Jim Brody, then the frustration of having her psychic sense blinded when she felt she needed it. Her body chose a course of action before her brain could stop her, and Lise kicked off her sandals and dove into the pool with Darwin. She came up shivering and laughing like a lunatic. Darwin swam around and around her, then ducked his dorsal fin into her palm and took her for a tow around the pool. She dove under and circled Darwin, winking at him as she passed one eye. They swam around each other for a few short minutes until Lise decided she was losing too much body heat and needed to get out. She swam back to where Lucas was standing slack-jawed and climbed out. She stood shivering violently and dripping all over the deck, smiling so big her face hurt.

"Th-th-thank you, Darwin," she shivered.

"Come play again, Lise! Use other skin and play longer!" Lise laughed at the squeaky voice and bend to put on her sandals. She looked up at Lucas.

"I take it the interpreter and voice are your doing?" She asked. He still looked stunned at her impulsiveness.

"Uh, yeah. How did you know that?" He asked.

"Just what the others said. It's fantastic. Did your research stem from Bond's or McCafferty's?" She referred to the two scientists she'd read about in college who had been researching interpreting the clicks and whistles of dolphins. Lucas recovered from the new shock of having her know anything about dolphin language research very quickly and recognized that he had the chance to finally impress this girl.

"Actually, they were both way off," he scoffed. "They weren't even considering sounds outside the human range. I took a little of what Rocha did with orca and came up with the rest myself. It's all computer based—" Lise cut him off.

"I'd really like to hear about it, but…" Lucas' face fell as she spoke. "I'm very close to hypothermia here. Give me a half an hour?" He looked uncertain. "I'll meet you in the forward rec lounge, okay?"

"Half an hour?" Lucas asked, and she smiled.

"Bring some hot cocoa, huh? I haven't wanted any since I left my residency in Alaska, but now nothing sounds better," she said, and he grinned.

That night, Lise almost collapsed into bed, but her mind refused to skip her normal review of the day and plan for tomorrow. She thought back over the people she'd met on _seaQuest,_ forcing herself to consider all her first impressions. The Captain was an enigma. He'd accepted her onto his ship, apparently knowing her gift was potentially dangerous to his crew, but she hadn't gotten the impression of him as a compassionate person on the Mag-Lev. Of course, without her gift, it was hard to judge. Commander Ford had been very no-nonsense when she'd been introduced on the bridge but had been much more relaxed at the poker game. No doubt he was a man who took his commission in the navy very seriously.

Lieutenant Brody was an enchanting mystery. She tried to sort through what she'd sensed so strongly from him before Dr. Smith had blocked her. He was passionate in his feelings for his fellows and ship. His emotional capacity seemed enormous from her experience with almost anyone. That thought brought her back to her comparison to the old native man she'd linked with to alleviate his pain and try to save him back at the hospital. The old man had loved everyone and everything in his life with an intensity she'd found nearly painful. He had been at peace serving others and protecting his home for his whole life. It was that same quiet loyalty, competence, and strength she'd sensed in Brody, as well as the love for those he knew. He probably had no idea that everyone wasn't like he was inside, that most other people let pettiness get in the way of living fully, and that few people ever felt as passionately even once in their lives as he felt every day. She'd found something so pure and wonderful in the old man's mindset that she'd wanted to know more, to have known him for longer; now she'd found someone near her age and for whom she felt a profound attraction to who had that aura about them. It seemed like fate.

Lise smiled at her own melodrama and continued her assessment of the people she'd met. Lieutenant O'Neill seemed a sweet, good-hearted man. He had a brilliant mind for languages though his personal interactions were awkward. She'd wished she could sense him to understand him better. Doctor Smith was another puzzle. She was obviously willing to help Lise, but she hadn't seemed to want to spend any time with her until they began training. Lise was certain she'd get a better feel for her the next day, especially if she was allowed to use her psychic sense.

Lucas was…a child among the adults on board. He had the knowledge of a scientifically minded adult, but not the discretion for when to use it. He seemed to want to be important to everyone, or maybe it was just that he wanted acceptance as most children do. Darwin was exactly what she imagined a dolphin would be like if it could talk. She briefly analyzed her spontaneous swim and decided it had been a release for the stress she'd been under. Next time she would prepare and use a wet-suit before taking to the cold waters of the pool.

The card game had been interesting. The three other crewmembers who had been there had been amusing, and it was obvious that everyone there were close friends. Tony Piccolo was a brash and abrasive young man. He'd seemed very uncomfortable when Lise admitted she was a psychic, but her lack of knowledge of the rules and consistently losing hands at the game reassured him that she was not scanning, or scamming, as he may have suspected. Lonnie Henderson had seemed exceedingly…ordinary. She talked and teased as any women Lise had met in the UEO Navy, though she held on to more femininity than most. Miguel Ortiz had flirted and joked in a way that made Lise feel very comfortable around him. Jim Brody was the life of the party with his quick wit, and no one, even Lise, had been spared his all-in-good-fun scathing one-liners. Lise felt she had acquitted herself quite well with a number of rejoinders that had had the whole group laughing, and had brought a sparkle to Jim's eyes that she liked.

The day had been draining, and the training with Dr. Smith would surely be more so tomorrow. Lise was certain that she needed to talk with Wendy about giving her partial control of her ability, however, because not being able to sense anything from anyone made it very difficult to deal with people and made her terribly frustrated. She wanted so much to investigate further all the things she'd sensed from Jim Brody as well.

Lise fell asleep and dreamed her own dreams for the first time in a long while, and those dreams were filled with a pair of gentle, sparkling eyes and a soul peering out from them that stood ready to encompass her.

Wendy was adamant that Lise keep her psychic sense completely shielded until they had laid a groundwork for Lise controlling it on her own. The training sessions left Lise mentally exhausted, but a swim with Darwin always helped. The dolphin helped her to relax, and if Lucas always seemed to want to join her on her swim, well, she figured he probably felt proprietary toward the animal, so she never argued.

Lise took to having dinner with any one of the crewmembers she was rapidly coming to consider friends. She counted it an added bonus that any table she sat at with whomever she spotted first was undoubtedly joined by one or two others, usually including Brody. Lise had ventured a suggestion to Jim one night to spend the evening in the arboretum with her, only to have him show up with Lucas in tow and an excuse to leave after half an hour. Another fifteen minutes of Lucas' awkward, childish attempts at adult conversation and Lise had excused herself as politely as she could. Her frustration at not being able to sense whether Jim simply wasn't interested or he was merely oblivious was growing rapidly.

Working in the med-bay proved more interesting than Lise had expected. Wendy seemed to appreciate the way she had immediately begun assisting in the day-to-day necessities.

During her second week aboard, an emergency occurred which earned her a greater measure of respect from Wendy.

Lise had been running some figures through the computer for some research being done when the call came for an emergency team to come to the launch bay. She and Wendy rushed down there with the portable medical equipment to find a crewman trapped under a heavy supply crate that had come loose from the loader. The man was crying out and begging for something for the pain. Wendy assessed him and decreed that he was in shock and couldn't be given any pain-killers.

"Release my shields," Lise snapped at Wendy, leaning around her, looking at the man.

"That's the last thing you need: his pain will overwhelm you in a second," Wendy said.

"I can help him! _Let me_," Lise demanded. Wendy cocked her head at Lise then released the shields on the young woman's mind. She watched Lise, and saw her expression go blank, then the man stopped screaming. Wendy checked his vitals and found them returning to near normal. He was coherent as well.

"He has a compound fracture of the femur and severe bruising almost everywhere else," Lise said to Wendy in a detached voice.

"Ready to lift!" A voice called.

"Wait!" Lise ordered. "Lift from this corner, or you'll crush his leg." She pointed, then directed the raising of the crate. "I'll stabilize the leg as you lift him," she said. She didn't reach for the wound, but instead frowned, focusing closely on the muscles in his leg, forcing them rigid. They lifted him onto the stretcher and returned to med-bay, where Lise continued to surprise Wendy with her ability to use her psychic gift. She eased the re-insertion of the bone and encouraged the muscles to support the break, also using a lightweight splint. She made his body increase circulation to speed the healing of the bruising. And most remarkable of all, Wendy saw, the crewman was awake, calm, and pain-free through the whole treatment.

"You'll have to stay off of it for about 3 weeks, then you'll be back on light duty for another 2," Lise told the man. Wendy cleared her throat. Lise gave her a serious nod. "But that of course will be subject to Dr. Smith's approval." She turned back to the man and winked, nodding. He smiled, and she carefully withdrew from his mind.

"Thank you, Dr. Dawson," he said earnestly. She patted his hand and smiled before turning back to Wendy.

"I'll explain everything I did to him. He'll be walking in just a few weeks, I guarantee," Lise said quietly. She frowned and her mouth tightened. "I can't seem to block anything now," she said, and Wendy quickly re-established her shields.

"I know how much a scan takes out of me, I can imagine what that took out of you. Take the rest of the day," Wendy offered, noting the circles of exhaustion around Lise's eyes. The younger woman smiled weakly and nodded her thanks.

"And Lise?" Wendy stopped her as she reached the door. "Good work." Lise's smile was much broader as she nodded and left med-bay.

Wendy went to see Captain Bridger the next day before she worked with Lise.

"Nathan, I'd like your permission to offer Lise the open physician position in med-bay."

"You're certain she's qualified?"

"More than certain. I think she could teach me a lot about using my psychic abilities in treatment. She's also a fine doctor, with excellent research skills."

"Permission granted," Bridger said, trusting her judgment.

Wendy broached the subject as soon as Lise arrived in med-bay. She sensed the confusion and surprise in the younger woman.

"I…I'm flattered, Wendy. _SeaQuest_ is a prestigious position," Lise frowned. "I…I'll really have to think about it."

"You do that," Wendy said. "Now, center yourself and block me out…"

After another long training session with Wendy, Lise decided to confide in her teacher some of her turmoil regarding Brody.

"Wendy, could I talk with you on a more private matter?" Lise ventured.

"Of course."

"I…I find myself in a conundrum due to my lack of use of my sense," Lise said.

"I can understand that. It's only natural to be disquieted by the disappearance of an ability you've taken for granted most of your life."

"Actually, that isn't exactly what I mean. I was referring to a specific situation that has arisen. I have met a person on board whom I find fascinating, and I am interested in pursuing some sort of relationship with him. He is rather difficult to pin down, though, and without being able to read him, I don't know if he doesn't return my interest, or he's shy, or he doesn't like women, or if I need to be more forward. In the past it has been simple to tell what the problem is and ease the situation however necessary. Without the use of my gift, I find myself relying on mere words and actions, and I seem to lack the experience to read those as I would emotions. I guess I'm just asking for some guidance."

Wendy had begun smiling when Lise described the situation, and her voice sounded amused as she replied. "Well, Lise, I think you're just going to have to do what anyone who wasn't psychic would." Lise made a gesture of incomprehension. "_Talk_ to him, Lise. Let him know what you're feeling and ask him how he feels."

Lise considered that. "But if he didn't return the sentiment, I'd be humiliated," she protested.

"That's how it might feel. But that's how everyone aboard _seaQuest_ who isn't psychic is used to doing things. I doubt he'll be hard on you even if he isn't interested. Which I don't think will be the case," Wendy smiled again, then indicated that Lise should go. As the younger woman left, she thought about it and decided that Nathan would probably like to know that their idea for allowing Lucas as much time as he wanted to spend with Lise off from his normal duties was perhaps paying off. They had so much in common…

Lise was thinking about what Wendy had said as she sat on the Mag-Lev when Jim came on board at one of the stops. Jim sat on the other bench. They exchanged greetings, and Lise looked at her watch.

"Ending your shift a little late, aren't you, Lieutenant?" She asked. Jim raised his eyebrows.

"Lieutenant? If you could figure out I was getting off duty I'd have thought you'd remember to call me Jim, _Doctor_ Dawson," Jim teased.

"Oh, I beg your pardon, _Jim_," Lise said. She looked around the car. "But this doesn't look a bit like med-bay."

"Point," he said. He seemed distracted, with a small line between his eyes. Lise ruefully realized that she'd have to ask to know what he was thinking about.

"Are you okay, Jim? You seem worried," she ventured. He looked over at her quickly.

"You aren't scanning me are you?" He asked.

"Dr. Smith has me completely blocked," she said bitterly. "I'm not even getting the hunches non-psychics do. But that means I was dead on, doesn't it? What are you worried about?" Jim's eyes searched hers.

"I… I just had words with Commander Ford and I hope he doesn't think I'm…" He sighed. "I don't know."

"You're concerned about what he thinks of you," she said. He nodded. "Was it professional or personal?" She asked.

"Professional."

"And was the view you expressed in the best interest of _seaQuest_?"

"In my opinion."

"From what I've seen, Commander Ford knows you well enough to respect what you say, even if he disagrees. Emotions can cloud interactions in the moment, but rarely last. I bet he either forgets the whole incident or compliments you later."

"And you're an emotion expert?" He asked sourly. Lise had to smile.

"Actually, yes. Wendy has defined-for the record- that my strongest psychic ability is empathy and the sensing of emotions. I've used my gift my whole life, Jim, sensing emotions and acting accordingly. I understand what makes people tick fairly well." Brody's mouth twisted a little and finally ended up as a smile.

"You're pretty smart, you know?" He said as the Mag-Lev stopped. "Even if you claim you aren't a genius." Lise laughed and followed him off the car.

"Look, can I talk with you for a minute?" She asked. He turned back to her in surprise.

"Sure, what's up?"

"It's part of what I said before, about Wendy having me blocked completely." Jim nodded for her to continue. "See, I'm used to…instinctively reading others' emotional states. Being blocked right now has made it difficult for me to understand how to interact with people. I talked with Wendy, and she suggested I do what a non-psychic would and talk about what I'm feeling and ask others what they are feeling. That's…very foreign to me." Jim stopped and turned to her. She looked up at him and felt a glimmer of the spirit she'd sensed. She smiled as she continued. "I'm feeling very frustrated because I can't tell if… What I mean is, I have had the pleasure of meeting a man on board who is a truly extraordinary person. The things I sensed before Wendy blocked me showed me a mind with a strength of character and a—a purity of spirit and purpose that has taken my breath away. Interaction has confirmed what my sense told me. But I'm terribly uncertain if my feelings are reciprocated, so I thought I would talk with you, and…" She trailed off, looking into his eyes and hoping he'd understand and reassure her that he felt the same attraction she did. Jim cringed inside to be the person she'd confided her feelings for Lucas in.

"Hey, I agree with Dr. Smith. You need to talk with Lucas, tell him how you feel." Jim put his hand on her shoulder, trying to make the gesture brotherly, but succeeding only in inflaming his attraction for her. He removed it quickly. "I think you won't be disappointed. I'm pretty sure he likes you, too." Lise's jaw dropped as he turned to go. "I'll see you later."

Jim headed to his quarters down the corridor, then paused when he closed the door behind him. He rested his forehead against the cold metal for a long moment, sighing. His hand felt like it was on fire from touching her. He shook his head and clenched his jaw, trying to tell himself he was _not_ falling in love with her. He sighed again; it was no use. He quickly changed clothes and headed for the fitness room to work out some of his frustration.

"All right, Wendy, I'm beginning to have difficulty concentrating," Lise said. The older woman nodded and Lise felt a release of the pressure Wendy had been putting on her. Lise sighed in relief and allowed her body to react to the strain. Her hands trembled and her head throbbed.

"I think I'm ready to give you a little control on those shields, Lise. You're doing much better this week. Let me show you the key to releasing and re-shielding on the levels I'll give you access to." Lise's heart jumped at the idea of getting back even a little use of her abilities. Wendy took Lise's hand and closed her eyes. Lise allowed Wendy's visualization of a key in a lock to form in her mind and felt the tickle of input from her sixth sense as the lock opened. Wendy demonstrated how to re-shield her mind, and then withdrew.

Lise looked around med-bay and tentatively extended her psychic sense. She brushed Wendy's mind, and Wendy nodded.

"What am I feeling, Lise?" Wendy asked.

"Relief and…" Lise found herself smiling a little wryly. "A rather parental pride."

"I am proud of you, Lise, and let's call it the pride of a teacher in a very gifted student. I never expected to have you able to begin taking back control so quickly." Lise was surprised when Wendy hugged her impulsively. "Why don't you take the afternoon off to work on exercising that gift of yours. I understand that Lucas is fine-tuning Darwin's translator programming down at the moon pool." Wendy's sweet intentions tasted like acid in Lise's mouth. Then Lise's head snapped up. She could try to talk to Jim again, now able to sense at least something from him. She hurried out of med-bay.

Red alert sounded while Lise rode the Mag-Lev, and she cursed soundly. She leaped off at the next stop and crowded into the reverse direction car with everyone else scrambling to their duty stations.

As she hurried into med-bay, Wendy handed her an emergency med-kit and turned her around.

"There's been an explosion at a drilling station and we're being sent to attempt a rescue of the crew aboard. Be prepared for burns, lacerations from shrapnel, hypothermia and drowning victims. You'll be with Lieutenant Brody's rescue team," Wendy was completely focused on the situation, and Lise had to grab her arm after saying her name several times to interrupt.

"Take the shields off, Doctor. _Now_," Lise demanded.

"Don't be ridiculous. You need the shielding now more than ever with the heightened anxiety—"

"No, you know I use my talent when I work. I can control it in this situation. I need it. _Take them off_." Lise's intensity must have been convincing, because after one quick probing scan, the shields vanished and Wendy inserted the key to contacting her to put them back up in Lise's head. A hot pulse of emotion ahead of them told Lise that Brody was already at the launch bay preparing his men.

They arrived and Wendy split off to accompany Commander Ford's party. Lise turned when she sensed that Ortiz was behind her with something for her. She thanked him as she took the protective gear he offered and suited up for the rescue. Peripherally she sensed his surprise and admiration at how quickly she strapped on the vest, wristguards and utility belt. She flashed a smile at him then lifted the med-kit and climbed aboard the shuttle. The respect she'd just gained from him bolstered her confidence as the emotions surged in the shuttle from the crew aboard and she struggled not to drown in them.

A blinding personality entered the shuttle and Lise met Lieutenant Brody's eyes. He nodded and she felt every nuance of what he was experiencing, including his concern for her. His thoughts bombarded her. '_Oh no, it's so unstable over there. She's so young. Why her, why her? I want her safe on _seaQuest_. Why her? Damnit, let it go. Back to business. Gonna have to watch Jackson with any fires…_' Lise's heart leapt and ached at the same time. She now knew he cared for her, but she had no opportunity to clarify her own feelings to him. She shook her head, hoping fervently she'd get the chance later. She waited, and, as she had expected, her sense became accustomed to Brody's intense thoughts and emotions and she began being able to read everyone else around her again. To her amazement having his fierce strength as a constant gave her stability among the others.

"Launching _now_!" Lise heard Lieutenant Henderson's voice cry from the cockpit and braced herself for the rough ride to the drilling station.

Acrid smoke and rumbles of other secondary explosions and collapsing hull met them on the drilling station. As they were pouring out of the shuttle, Lieutenant Brody looked at her and told her to stay close to him. She agreed and proceeded directly behind him.

"Fan out by two's and search—" Brody began.

"Wait!" Lise cried. Brody fired a look at her, impatient. "Lieutenant, I can find them faster with a scan than your men can searching." Doubt crossed his mind, then he recalled Wendy doing something similar once and nodded. Lise closed her eyes and reached out beyond the rescue party. She sensed where the other group was just arriving and continued scanning. Pain reached out to her from just down the corridor.

"Down here!" She exclaimed as she took off at a run toward the pain. A man with a burned hand met them and he was sent back to the shuttle with Henderson after Lise dampened his pain temporarily. She felt wonder and affection from Brody and smiled amidst the mayhem as she began scanning for others. They found an unconscious man and two women, paring down the rescue party to eight men.

Lise was sprinting down a corridor to try to get to the next victim before Captain Bridger recalled them as he was now threatening to do when another major explosion rocked the station. Brody slammed into her from behind and they sprawled forward as debris showered them. She heard and sensed a cry of pain from one of the rescue party before she blacked out as something crashed into her head.

She came to and heard Brody requesting assistance, feeling his alarm. Her mind reached out before her brain could make her mouth work. Shock, fear, and then reassurance met her mental touch as Brody realized what and who was in his head. She opened her eyes and had to blink to clear them of blood. She assessed her condition as a scalp laceration and slight concussion. She did what she could for her own wounds in an instant. Brody's concerned face met her gaze as she cleared her eyes. She lost a moment as his emotions and her own overwhelmed her, then she sat up and looked around. Pain from another person near her assaulted her, and she moved over to the crewman who sat propped against the bulkhead. She sensed the off-set leg that was his major source of pain and decided it was dislocated. She sensed his relief at having been at least trapped with his commanding officer and a doctor, even if he thought she looked like a teenager.

"This is a complete dislocation, Lieutenant Brody," Lise reported. "He's not going to be able to walk out of here." She looked at the man's uniform and assessed her own energy levels. She would have to conserve what she could. "Ensign Orser, I am going to put you to sleep so you won't feel what I'm going to have to do to get this leg straight, okay?" The man nodded, and she laid her hand on his cheek, a trickle of psychic energy sending him into a deep slumber.

"That's okay, none of us is going anywhere until someone gets us out," Brody said. Lise glanced around quickly and saw that they were sealed in by collapsed walls and debris on one side and a watertight door on the other.

"But there's a man over there!" She shouted and scrambled for the door, the knowledge coming at the same instant she acted on it. She ran her hands over the metal, unable to find the release for the door. Brody grabbed her from behind and she fought him. "There's a man _alive _over there! We have to—the water is up to his neck! Oh, God, he's against the ceiling with inches… He's under! Open the door! _Open the door_!" Lise cried, clawing at the door. Brody pulled her away, and she struggled, sobbing.

"There's nothing you can do!" He yelled. "We _can't_ open the doors from here, Lise! There's nothing—" She wrenched away from him.

"_Yes I can_," she said hoarsely and stepped back over to the door. Brody stayed close in case she was going to be irrational again.

Lise splayed her hands on the door. "I can ease his death. I can be with him so he knows he isn't alone," she whispered. Comprehension spread over Brody's face, followed by terrible awe. Lise closed her eyes and reached out to the drowning man on the other side of the door. She let her presence be felt; she let him make whatever assumptions he would about who and what she was. And as the final moments came, she calmed his mind and eased his pain and regret, letting death come softly. His final thoughts were peaceful, and she felt him slip away from her as others had before.

Brody watched with a storm of emotions flooding through him. He ached with respect for the courage of what Lise was doing, but was at the same time aghast at seeing her do it. He desperately wanted to spare her this, but knew with certainty that she was doing what her amazing character demanded she do. As she slowly sagged to her knees, he bent and lifted her in his arms. She wrapped frigid hands around his neck and her head sank against his shoulder.

Brody lowered himself to the floor and sat holding Lise's rigid body close to his own. She didn't speak, and after about a minute, she stirred, disengaging from him and moving over to Orser. She reduced his dislocation, then returned to Brody. She sat beside him and leaned close, shivering with exhaustion. He put his arm around her. His PAL beeped, and his voice was hushed as he answered it.

"How secure is your location?" O'Neill asked.

"I think it'll hold for a while. Get the others out first if you have to," Brody said into the PAL.

"Copy that. ETA of shuttle laserdock at your location ten minutes. _SeaQuest_ out."

Moments stretched out as Brody listened to Lise's breathing. He knew she must be experiencing things he couldn't imagine, and he wished fervently he could do something, anything. He felt terribly helpless. Lise's hoarse whisper startled him.

"I wasn't talking about Lucas the other day. It's you, Jim. I've never imagined meeting someone like you. I think I'm in love with you." She sensed his astonishment and stunned disbelief. She turned toward him and put a cold hand to his cheek. "Believe." Brody put his other arm around her and pulled her close.

"You're the bravest person I've ever met, Lise. You're so…" His voice cracked, and the tangle of feelings she sensed from him was too jumbled for her to begin to sort out. "I have no idea what you see in me, but…oh, Lise. Thank you." He pressed his lips fiercely against her forehead, and she knew it wasn't the brotherly gesture it seemed. Her attempted analysis vanished in the rush of her own desire and relief.

They were still huddled together when the shuttle lasered through the wall of the station. Wendy and Commander Ford jumped through the hole, and Jim stood, drawing Lise up, still pressed protectively close to his side. Wendy gave them an unreadable look, then turned to Orser.

"I put him to sleep and reduced a total dislocation of the right knee. I didn't have the energy to support it, though, so be careful," Lise said quietly. She and Jim made their way to the shuttle and boarded. Lise sent another crewmember with a stretcher through the docking collar, and everyone was soon aboard. Jim kept an arm shelteringly around her, and she let him shield her from everyone else. Every part of her felt raw and vulnerable, and she burrowed in to Jim's side and kept her psychic sense tuned exclusively on him.

When they reached _seaQuest_, Jim accompanied her all the way to med-bay. She paused at the entrance, allowing the wounded to enter.

"I'll find you as soon as everything is taken care of here," Lise said. Jim's fingertips stroked her cheek, his eyes burning into hers, then he let her go.

Painfully, onerously, Lise turned her mind back to her surroundings and set her mind into the mode of thinking she used when treating patients.

It was several hours before all the injured had been seen to and paperwork completed. Lise finally sat down and let Wendy stitch her scalp wound. She sensed Wendy's concern and curiosity and sighed inwardly.

"Can I just show you, Wendy? I don't have the energy left to tell it all," Lise said. Wendy studied her face and nodded. Lise let all the events pertinent to the rescue mission flow out into Wendy, including the agonizing death assist. There were tears flowing down Wendy's face when she received it.

"Oh, Lise, that's so dangerous. Please, don't do that again. I understand, but please…"

"I've done it before, and I will do it again if it's necessary." Lise looked into Wendy's eyes and saw that there were still questions waiting. "And as for the other, well, everyone assumed… It was always Jim, from the first day. Lucas is…" Lise opened her mind again to show Wendy how she felt about Lucas. Wendy just continued to look at her, as if trying to understand that which was apparent. Then she noticed something.

"You have shield control. Your own shields," Wendy said. Lise nodded wearily.

"I think it'll hold now, but… I'm going to go. I'll call if I need you, okay?" Lise rose and walked slowly out. She sensed that Jim was waiting in her quarters and gratefully headed in that direction.

When she arrived, Jim rose from where he'd been sitting at her desk and hurried to her. She saw that he was showered and shaven and cringed at her disheveled and blood-splattered appearance. She accepted his arms around her, relaxing into his strength, and he just held on for long moments. A throat being cleared outside her still open door made them both turn. O'Neill stood there, trying not to look like he'd been peeping.

"Sir, Captain Bridger has granted 24 hours recuperative time to all rescue party members," Tim looked only slightly embarrassed, and Lise smiled wryly when she sensed that he'd known all along that they had feelings for each other. "When I couldn't raise you in your quarters I offered to find you…"

"Thanks, O'Neill," Jim said softly. Tim nodded, smiling half-regretfully, and pulled the door shut.

Jim looked down at Lise and noticed for the first time that the only parts of her that had been cleaned up were her head injury and her hands. She sensed what he was looking at and chuckled.

"I'd go shower if I had the strength," she said. "But since I don't, I'll just go get cleaned up a little." She nodded toward her sink, and Jim released her and resumed his seat at her desk. Lise quickly washed the soot, dirt, and blood off of her arms and face. She carefully pulled a brush through her hair to rid it of the worst debris. Muscles she hadn't realized were bruised and strained protested as she tried to unbuckle the vest she'd so readily strapped on earlier.

"Let me help," Jim said, hurrying up behind her. "I know how much of a bitch these things are after your muscles have stiffened." He adeptly unfastened the straps and buckles, and the vest came off. Lise took a deep breath in response to the release and felt her t-shirt pull against her skin where it had stuck from sweat. Jim's hands rested lightly on her hips, and she sensed his recognition of the innate sexuality of helping her out of even the outermost shell of her clothing at the same time she did. She swallowed hard and turned around to face him. His jaw flexed as she felt his body responding to her nearness. She reached up and touched the planes of his face with gentle fingers. She sensed the impression he had of falling into her eyes and she smiled. She leaned up and kissed him softly on the cheek, then sidestepped away.

"I didn't realize how sweaty I got under that vest. Back in Kimbe after a day like today I'd just drop into bed and change the sheets tomorrow. Here, though…I think it would be better if I showered, no matter how tired I am," she said. She felt his confusion and apprehension. She heard his thoughts clearly. '_Oh, man, I shouldn't be here. I'm scaring her. She's really just a kid…_'

"Jim, no!" She exclaimed. He jumped. She rested her hand on his arm. "I _want_ you to be here. I… I think I really need to have you here right now, because after my mind settles down, everything that happened today is going to come crashing down, and…" Her voice trailed off. "Look, I've always wanted to be alone through my reaction shakes, but…" Her voice quavered at the mention of her emotions, and she felt a tremor go through her body. "Shit…" She whispered as her knees stopped supporting her and a choked gasp escaped her. Jim was there immediately, catching her as she fell and moving her over to the bed.

Lise's body curled up into a ball as shudders wracked her. He wanted so badly to help her, and cursed himself for not being able to do more than hold her. A thin wailing breath came from her, and Jim stroked her hair and back.

"You did all you could, Lise. You're so brave, so strong. You're an incredible person. You're wonderful, Lise. You did everything you could," he murmured. The agonized sound faded at his words, and he could tell she was listening even as her body continued to shake. "You- you were strong for him. Let me be strong for you, now. It's okay to let go, Lise. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

The painful jumble of Lise's mind registered what he was offering, and for the first time, she let herself give in. The tears she never shed poured out and she cried.

"That man—" she gasped, and his jaw clenched. "He thought I was his dead mother…his mind held on so t-tightly…" Jim closed his eyes briefly, aching for her.

"Just let go, Lise, let me be strong for you," he whispered. Her head lifted and she looked into his eyes as the tears fell unceasing.

"Your mind… is so strong," she whispered. His brow furrowed, but he nodded. "I just want… I want that strength to h-hold me." She sensed he didn't understand what she was asking, but that he wanted to help her any way he could, so she slowly reached out with her mind, touching his gently. He blinked, and understood at least partially what she wanted, and he tried to relax his mind to show her that she was welcome. She carefully drifted closer, linking their minds together. He let out a soft gasp as she opened her senses to him and let him see himself as she did.

"That- that's how you see me?" He asked in wonder. Her mind answered his directly, and he felt her assent. "Oh, Lise…" His voice trailed away as their minds meshed. He felt her experience with the dying man and comforted her, sharing the pain and helplessness.

As time passed, Lise's shuddering slowed to occasional shivers and then stopped completely, as did her tears. She began to be aware of discomfort in her arm- no, it was Jim's arm, the one under her. She marveled for long moments at the sense of being two people in one mind, then shook herself and eased up from his arm.

Jim's eyes opened as she released his trapped arm, and he had a moment of double vision, with her eyes seeing him and his eyes seeing her. He blinked, and his sight settled on his own perspective, but he smiled at the incredible feeling as he moved his aching arm.

"I love you, Lise," Jim said, whispering it aloud and hearing it echo in their minds. He felt her joy at his words. "This is amazing, I'm hearing everything double."

"Sorrow shared is sorrow halved and joy shared is joy doubled," she quoted. He thought about that, and she listened to his mind, smiling. "Jim…" she whispered, and his attention returned to her. She moved toward him and kissed him lightly. That soft kiss ignited his passion, and he kissed her back fiercely. They made love still wrapped in each others minds, and at one point an addition to her quote regarding sex floated through her head, and they both laughed.

The next morning, when Lise was returning from the shower she was so in need of, she ran into the last person she wanted to see on the whole ship: Lucas Wolenczak.

"Lise! I was coming to see how you were. I came by last night but you must have been asleep already. I heard it got pretty hairy—are you all right? Is there anything you need?" Lucas' flood of words disconcerted her for a moment after the quiet night of being cocooned with Jim, and she shrugged her arm away from his hand.

"Sorry, I'm rather sore. Seems I got hit by a wall," she said to cover her rudeness. Now that her psychic sense was fully functional, she could very clearly sense that Lucas had extremely mixed feelings about her. There was the adolescent response to a female near his own age, and she read that he'd been getting pushed nearly as much at her as she had been at him, but she sensed his uncertainty as well. He didn't really know if he liked her all that much. He saw her as smart and sexy, but distant and stuck up. Instead of being offended by his view of her, Lise was relieved. "I meant to tell you; something funny happened the other day." Lucas looked interested. "I was talking with Dr. Smith, trying to find out how to approach Jim Brody on a," she smiled, "personal level, but I guess I never mentioned him by name, and she assumed I was talking about you. I get the feeling that a lot of people on the ship care about you and made some assumptions since we have several commonalties. Have you felt that, too?"

Lucas' eyes grew wide and he rubbed the side of his face with one finger. "I have, actually. But I don't think that just because we have similar pasts we're, like—predestined to get together." Lise smiled at him, and he sighed almost regretfully. "Maybe we should set the record straight for some people," he suggested.

"I concur. I spoke with Wendy about it, and now that Jim and I have…" Lise searched her mind for the best colloquialism and found it flashing through Lucas' surface thoughts. "…hooked up, I think it will be pretty obvious."

Lucas seemed more relieved than disappointed, and Lise was pleased with how everything was turning out.

"Would you like to swim with me later?" She asked. Lucas smiled.

"Yeah, I'll see you there. Have a good, uh, day, okay?"

"You do the same, Lucas."

Jim was still asleep when Lise returned to her quarters, and she sat down quietly in her desk chair and watched him. His arm outflung and his mouth agape, he looked silly, but the lack of lines on his face from worry was beautiful to her. Her clock chimed softly, and she sighed, knowing she'd have to wake him if they were going to get to breakfast. She moved over next to the bed and reached her psychic sense out to him, gently insinuating herself back into his mind. It felt like reclining into a warm, familiar bed of pillows. She felt his dream, something with a beach and flowers dripping from trees like rain. She projected the image of herself walking toward where he stood beneath the trees, and he laughed and ran to her. They kissed, then she looked into his eyes and told him it was time to wake up. The suggestion was enough to start the dream fading, and as his eyes opened, Lise heard his dream voice and his waking voice simultaneously.

"I love you…" Jim's eyes blinked open, and he smiled at her. "That is the best way I can imagine to wake up, beautiful." Lise sat down on the bed and he reached out. Lise curled into his embrace.

"Well thank you, handsome," she replied, giggling. Jim's face was resting against her side, and he sniffed appreciatively.

"You smell great," he said. She laughed aloud.

"What I am is hungry; we skipped dinner last night. Shall we meet in the cafeteria after you shower and change?"

Jim groaned. "Why can't we just stay here and make love all day?" Lise blushed.

"I'm _hungry_, Jim. Using my sense like I did yesterday drains me physically as well as mentally. So," she stroked his face and stood up. "…as much as I might like to lay around all day with you, I need to eat and maybe have a swim."

Jim smiled up at her. She sensed him radiating joy and love, and she basked in the feeling, smiling back at him. He reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Marry me," he said softly. Lise's heart lurched.

"Jim…" she whispered.

"I mean it, Lise. I've never felt like this before." His face grew serious. "I…I've been with a lot of women. I've even been in love before. But it wasn't like this. I know I could be satisfied with just you for the rest of my life." As with all of his emotions, Jim's sincerity was blindingly strong.

"Jim, I know how strongly you feel—I sense it. It's just…" She shrugged helplessly. He tugged her back down beside him. "I…I just…" She faltered. Jim caught her eyes and looked hard into them.

"Show me," he said simply, and she was touched with his openness about her ability. She smiled a tiny smile and nodded, opening up, linking into his mind. She showed him how much her work meant to her, how attached she had become to Kimbe and its people in the one year she'd been there. How their cause, their desire to remain a free and independent people, made her feel. She'd found a home there, and people who respected her based on her abilities, not her age. She showed him what she imagined it would be like if they were married, with him visiting occasionally, but most of the time being gone. She let him sense her worry for him, her love.

"I don't know that I could bear it," she whispered.

"Now that you've showed me that, I can't ask you to stay on _seaQuest_," he said, and she felt how his heart ached. "But maybe I—I could request a transfer… If there's a UEO hospital there, they have to have at least an administrative office…" She could tell how sick it made him feel to imagine being back on a shore post, away from anywhere he felt he could do any good. He was suggesting it at the same time he realized what it would be like, and yet she heard his mind say '_It'd be worth it, to be with her…_' and she shook her head sadly.

"I couldn't ask that of you, either." His eyes and his anguish reached out to her, and she let him feel the tangle of emotions she was experiencing. He wrapped her in his arms and rocked her slowly.

"I don't know what to do…" He whispered. She hugged him tightly for a moment.

"We have some time to think about it. I doubt Wendy will give me the all clear to leave for a while yet, even though I feel like my shields are under my complete control now," she said. He looked into her eyes, then kissed her gently.

"Okay. Maybe something will come to us."

Lise, Jim, and Lucas were swimming with Darwin when the red alert siren sounded. All three scrambled to get out of the tank and to their stations. Lise smiled while hurrying toward med-bay as she imagined what the reaction would be when both of them showed up on the bridge in their wet-suits. Then she walked into med-bay and got her own reaction as Wendy stared, then laughed at Lise in her wet-suit.

"I think you have time to change," Wendy said, pointing toward her office. "The jumpsuit in there should fit you." Lise quickly stripped down and slid into the jumpsuit, which proved to be somewhat large on her. She shrugged, rolled up the legs and sleeves, and kept her water booties on rather than go barefoot.

Lise had just re-entered med-bay when the comm beeped, and Lieutenant O'Neill's voice could be heard.

"Dr. Smith and Dr. Dawson to the bridge. Dr. Smith and Dr. Dawson to the bridge."

Wendy threw a small towel at Lise, and they headed for Mag-Lev. Lise dried her hair on the ride, sensing all the while that Wendy wanted to ask about Jim, but felt it would be prying. Lise decided it was simply not the time to discuss it, and remained silent.

On the bridge, Captain Bridger turned to them.

"There's been a distress signal from Kimbe," he said. Lise felt her stomach drop out. She sensed the brightness of Brody behind Bridger, and forced herself not to seek shelter in his mind.

"The Micronesian government has been quietly taking over many islands outside their boundaries, Captain," Lise said. "It's logical that they would start with the less populated West New Britain if they're making a try for the whole island."

"With a UEO presence? That's unlikely," Commander Ford interjected.

"They might not have known that; it's only the hospital, and it came under UEO jurisdiction just last year."

"Captain, they used a direct UEO distress signal. Why would they do that if they know how far the nearest UEO military outpost is?" O'Neill asked.

"The staff knew I was going to be on _seaQuest_," Lise ventured.

"We can continue this line of thought in the Wardroom. Mr. Piccolo, get us to Kimbe full speed. Doctors, Lucas, Ford, Brody, with me," Captain Bridger ordered, and led the way.

Lise felt Brody's hand brush her back in a gesture of support, and she glanced over her shoulder and nodded, letting a tiny bit of her fear and worry show before closing off again.

They arrived in the middle of the night. Walking through the burned out shell of the hospital and town that had been home had Lise trembling so hard the light she carried bounced all over. Brody stepped up beside her before the others could see and gently took the light. Her mind reached out to his in anguish, and his love steadied her. She let her hand grasp his arm for a moment, then released it and continued through the ruin.

The search party regrouped at dawn and reported they had found nothing but burned buildings and bodies. Brody noticed that in the golden light Lise's face was drawn and ashen. Her trembling had long ago stopped, and she hadn't reestablished contact with him for hours. Her eyes held something terrible and veiled.

"-not a trace of who did this," Ford said into his PAL.

"Thank you, Commander. There is a unit of UEO investigators ETA one hour. We'll brief them here on _seaQuest_. Come on back," Captain Bridger's voice was heavy.

"Aye Captain, returning to _seaQuest_." Ford turned to the rest of the party. "You heard him. There's nothing we can do here." He looked around and shook his head sadly. "Let's go."

The crewmembers followed Ford's lead and headed for the launch. Brody stopped after only a few steps when he realized that Lise wasn't with him. He turned back. She was staring at the hospital.

"Lise, we should go," he called softly. Slowly, she turned toward him. He felt his breath gasp out of him in a rush because in one piercing instant, he knew what she intended. Her hands reached up and unfastened the UEO protective vest from her body, then the utility belt, and finally the wrist guards. She held them out silently to him.

"Lise," he choked. He made no move to take the equipment from her. She tossed them at his feet.

"They won't do anything. Commander Ford knows it, the Captain knows it…and _you_ know it." Lise spoke slowly, bitterly. "They'll rule it pirates—a tragedy, and the island will fall to the Macronesians. That's what they call themselves. The free people of the Papya New Guinea Islands have been resisting with guerrilla tactics, but it's only slowing them down. The UEO won't risk an international incident, and the people will keep dying." Lise's voice was brittle. Jim felt tears rise in his eyes. He was losing her just as he'd found her.

"Lise," his voice broke, and the tears overflowed onto his cheeks. She closed her eyes, reinforcing her shielding for all it was worth. His grief and pain were like a continuous lightning strike: blinding and overpowering. His hands grabbing her arms shocked her, and her eyes flew open to meet his. "_Please_," he begged, and the physical contact overwhelmed her barriers. She clenched her jaw, knowing she would never find another person like him who loved her as he did, then unleashed all her feelings on him. The agony, hatred, bitterness, and rage she'd internalized slammed into him, and he staggered back with the weight of the mental blow. He struggled against it and returned to stand before her. "_I—love—you_." He stared hard into her eyes, not touching her this time. "Please, come back to _seaQuest_. Work from _inside_ the UEO." The blast of emotions drained away, and he reached out slowly and touched her face with his fingertips. Hope sparked to life in his heart.

"You're so strong…" She whispered, trying to imprint upon her memory the feeling of being surrounded by his intensity. "I will _never_ forget." Jim's mouth fell agape in his horror, and his knees buckled.

"_No_—Lise, come with me…_don't leave me_."

Lise sensed the buried childhood pain behind his words and grieved at inflicting another wound on his beautiful spirit.

"Wherever you go, I will be with you, Jim. Always," she said. Her voice betrayed the tiniest quiver, and she sank down in front of him. His chest heaved in a gulping, repressed sob. Lise put her hands on his face and kissed him. His arms wrapped around her crushingly as he kissed her back. She let their minds mesh, showing him how much she loved him, how close to impossible it was for her to leave him now. And how vital it was to her that she do it. She let herself get lost inside the moment, inside his powerful spirit. Then she visualized tearing a piece of herself away and offering it to him. He enveloped it, and she sensed a part of his strength infuse her in return. Shuddering, she disengaged her mind from his as she drew away from him physically.

Wracking sobs tore from Jim as Lise Dawson stood, stroked his face with tender fingers once more, then turned and walked away from him. Through the wavering haze of his tearing vision, he watched as she moved past the hospital, down a pathway, and into the forest to find whatever survivors had fled. He sank forward until his face touched the ground, uncontrollably weeping at their loss.

Back on _seaQuest_, Wendy came to see Lieutenant Brody in his quarters. She was concerned with how withdrawn he'd been for the last week, since Lise had abandoned the UEO and him.

"Jim, would you like to talk about it?" She offered. There was sorrow in his eyes as he looked at her, but she sensed that his powerful and resilient spirit was mending.

"What's there to say?" He asked. "She went to join the freedom fighters. She isn't coming back. I'll probably never see her again."

Wendy cocked her head. "Why didn't you go with her?" She asked softly. He looked away for a minute, then back at her.

"She didn't believe in the UEO." He shook his head. "I do," he said simply.

Wendy nodded slowly. She patted his shoulder as she left.

Jim looked within himself and cradled the fragment Lise had left within him, seeing in it her smile, and feeling her ghostly fingers stroke his face.

The _seaQuest_ had been missing for eight weeks before Lise heard about it. News trickled into the wilds inland on New Britain slowly. A two month old newspaper that was wrapped around some fish given to the freedom fighters was the first news they'd had of the outside world in three months. The paper was from Australia, and Lise absconded with it as soon as she saw what it was.

The news set her on a downward spiral of depression and cynicism. The original group of rebels from Kimbe dwindled as people died in firefights with the 'Macronesians'. Within two years, Lise was the only one left, mainly because no one was willing to put their doctor at risk for any reason.

Moving from island to island as they were overrun by the invading forces, the freedom fighters consistently received heavy losses and new recruits of those who lost their homes.

Lise was back home, hiding with a small band of wounded in the interior rainforests of New Britain eight years after _seaQuest_ disapeared when a man joined them, bringing much needed guns and supplies. His name was Ben Krieg. He'd been working in the United States, trying to raise consciousness about the injustices in the world, and had finally given up and decided he'd be more use with his UEO background on the front lines of the freedom movement. He went where the worst oppression was: Macronesia. There, he ran into a doctor who was sick of living.

"How soon can you have the men up and about?" Krieg asked. The doctor looked up at him, and he saw the deadness in her eyes.

"Doing what?" Lise asked. Her voice was flat, and he frowned. She was too young to be so burned out.

"Attacking Kimbe," he said. A spark of pain in her eyes, and he remembered there had been a UEO hospital in Kimbe before it was destroyed in the original invasions.

"I can have four of them able tomorrow. The rest still need another week of recovery," she reported. She looked away from him and sighed.

He sat down beside her on the log.

"You were at Kimbe in '18?" He asked softly. He felt a rough scan of his mind and jumped. She glared at him.

"No, I had had a psychic breakdown and was on board _seaQuest_ with Wendy Smith when they destroyed Kimbe," she snapped. "Lucky me." She felt his shock at the mention of the ship he'd served on.

"_SeaQuest_?" He whispered. She nodded, her jaw clenched. "You… you knew Bridger and Ford… and Lucas?"

Lise probed his mind more gently, hiding what she was doing. His heart ached that the sub had disappeared. He truly believed everyone on board was dead, and still grieved for them. His golden time, as he saw it, had been the years he was on board.

"Yeah…" she said softly. He looked closely at her and saw his emotions mirrored there. He put an arm around her shoulders. She stiffened, then relaxed.

"You were UEO, too?" He asked. She nodded.

"Not military like you, but… The UEO had the best psychic programs, and they weren't adverse to me being a doctor so young. But they wouldn't…they didn't care about what was happening here. Then Kimbe… and I couldn't stand to listen to the damned investigators say it was pirates. They could have stopped so much death…" She sighed. She had gone over it again and again in her mind, but she rarely spoke of it.

"Well, you're doing some good out here, stopping deaths," he said. Fury overtook her, and she shoved away from him, standing and pacing.

"What good is it? I save this one so he can die on the next raid, or from bad food or water I couldn't purify! It's no damn good anymore." She stopped and hung her head. "Maybe it never was."

Ben stood and put his hands on her shoulders. She glared up at him.

"It matters," he said firmly. Her eyes were dull and lifeless again. "What you're doing makes a difference. How the hell do you think I got those men I brought to come here?" She narrowed her eyes. "I told them about people like you, and those you help. I told them of your struggle against the fascist Macronesians, and_ they came_."

Lise's mouth twisted. "One born every minute," she spat, and walked away.

Krieg watched her and decided he had to convince her that what they were doing was still worthwhile. If she'd had the passion to stay with the resistance movement for eight years, _she_ was worth convincing. He smiled a little. This attack on the prison center at Kimbe was perfect.

A week later, Ben led the 125 political prisoners into the small rainforest camp, and Lise's jaw dropped. A man hobbled up to her, and she reached out her sense to him since he obviously knew her.

"Tatell?" She gasped. He was a fighter who had been lost two years before on Buka. He spread his arms out, and her frozen heart cracked as she noted the twisted, broken fingers. She hugged him carefully.

"Oh ho, Do'tor Lise! You good! I see you!" The man laughed, and Lise smiled, swallowing hard on emotion she hadn't let herself feel for so long. She pulled back and closely examined his hands.

"Feet also?" She asked. He nodded somberly. She winked at him. "I think I can do something about it, and it won't hurt near as much as when they broke them." Tatell's grin split his face and he howled. He pulled her into a hopping dance, and she actually laughed. The figure of Ben Krieg across the clearing caught her attention, and their eyes met for moment. She nodded to him, and he smiled back.

Later that night, after expending large amounts of energy blocking Tatell's pain while she re-set his fingers and the bones in his feet, Lise rested in her med-tent in a hammock, trying to get up the motivation to search out some food. She barely glanced up when she sensed Krieg enter.

"I can't help anyone else today. I'm spent."

"That's not why I'm here," he said softly. "I brought you something to eat." She sat up and smiled. He handed her a bowl filled with a vegetable soup and a piece of flat bread.

"Thanks," she said, and dug in to the soup, scooping it out with the bread and quickly finishing. He took the bowl and set it down.

"I wanted to see if you… if you'd tell me about how everyone was when you were on _seaQuest_," he said. She looked at him warily, and he held up a hand. "Please, just ask—don't scan me. I really hate that feeling; like something crawling in your head."

"Why do you want to talk about dead people?" She asked flatly.

"I…I want to know… if they were happy. I want… I guess I want to remember a better time and place. Don't you ever want that? Don't you ever want to tell your stories about how the crazy kid Lucas saved the ship one time, or how O'Neill hit on you, or even just how good Ford looked in uniform?" His voice was almost pleading, and when their eyes met, she saw the same haunted shadow there; that shadow of 'If I'd only stayed on board, maybe it would have been different.'

Lise looked up at the ceiling of the tent.

"I remember Darwin," she whispered. Krieg leaned forward, and she looked at him sadly. "I swam with Darwin every chance I got." She remembered the free feeling of being towed along, and the unbridled joy the animal had taken in every moment. "It made me so… childishly happy… to swim with him." Krieg nodded, his lips curving. "Lucas… Lucas was always there when I was with Darwin." She laughed shortly. "Lucas was everywhere I was at first. Everyone on board decided the moment they met me that I'd make a great match for him." She grew silent, her thoughts inexorably turning to Jim.

"But…?" Krieg urged.

"But we didn't even like each other much. I was very full of myself, and he was so unsure, so childish. It worked out for the best though, that we could just be acquaintances."

"So who did you get close to while you were on board?" He asked. A mask descended on her face and she looked away.

"Tim O'Neill was such a sweet person. I taught him some of the pigeon from here, and his mind soaked it up like a sponge. He was such a brilliant linguist, and yet he was so awkward…" She smiled, thinking of him. "I think he was my best _friend_ on board." Krieg didn't miss the emphasis.

"Let's see, who else was there when you were? Ortiz?" She asked. He nodded.

"He was great. Friendly and nice. He was a very open person," she said. "I'd consider him a friend, too." She smiled a little, thinking of the evenings spent playing cards, watching old videos, working out in the gym. "Henderson?" She asked. Krieg shook his head. "That's good. I don't remember much about her. Piccolo?" Again a negative. "Again good, since I can't remember anything positive about him. Um, I didn't get to know the Captain or Commander Ford very well." She grew still, and he saw her start to say another name three times before it finally came out. "Brody?" Her voice cracked as she said the name. Slowly Krieg shook his head.

"But tell me anything you want to," he said softly. Her eyes were distant, looking into the past. Her voice was so quiet he barely could hear her when she started speaking.

"Jim Brody was an exquisite, beautiful, strong soul. I survived inside his mind for a time, and I've done nothing but wish to go back ever since. I should have been there and died with him. I _did_ die, when I left him…" Her voice ended in silence.

Ben stood and moved over to her. He took her hands in his. They were cold, and he looked down, noticing just how skeletal they were, how thin she was. He drew her up out of the hammock, and after a moment, she seemed to awaken and she looked up at him, a puzzled frown on her face.

"I lost the one person for me years ago, through my own stupidity. But I've found since then, that it's possible to… seek solace… in someone else. It doesn't help the hurting… but it feels good while you're doing it, and really… transient pleasure is all anyone ever has…" His soft words and the honesty behind them touched Lise. She leaned up to him and kissed him, feeling other lips from another time. He wrapped his arms around her, his mind imagining Katie…

Wrapped in their own pasts, Ben and Lise made bittersweet love with closed eyes and minds. Afterward, Lise left the med-tent to return to her own sleeping hammock, feeling the aching hollowness of what they'd done, but knowing she'd do it again and again as long as Ben was around. His build was similar, and with her perfect memory, she could supply the missing details. For brief moments, she could forget, and be with Jim again.

Two more years passed, and Ben and Lise fought the Macronesians as they could. Ben learned to understand why Lise had been as she was when he met her, and he slid into bitterness himself. They were unable to stop Macronesian expansion, and they became less and less effective even slowing it. Ben began to get obsessed with the idea of saving the few families they had helped. He decided that the rebels should help the refugees get out and find their own land. And he decided that he would go with them.

Lise's own bitterness returned, but now she believed she'd made the wrong decision. She saw how little good they were able to do from within Macronesia and wondered how much she could have done had she remained with the UEO. She spent any free time she came by wrapped in memory, and regret. She'd never really been a voice in the decisions made about what to attack or where to go, but she now lacked any interest in those decisions. She closed the shields on herself and sealed them, not wanting anything to intrude on her mind. She came to simply float from place to place, treating what patients she could and easing so many others into death that she felt herself letting go more and more each time.

The surprise attack on their camp on the coast of New Australia where they were preparing to enact Ben's plan to take the families to a new home sent everyone scrambling for the boats prematurely. Lise helped the pregnant woman she'd been talking with out of the med-tent and urged her into a run toward the beach. Her mind registered the men firing back into the trees, trying to buy time for the rest to get away. She helped the pregnant woman into a boat and told everyone to get down, then she looked back. Pulse blasts came from the forest, and she noted Ben bursting out, running for the boats. A woman carrying a child fell in front of him, and he scooped the child up from the lifeless form. He turned and looked back into the trees for a moment as if to show the Macronesian soldiers what they had done, then he sprinted for a boat.

The armed men fell back and boarded the boats as well. Several more people were lost as the boats were taken out to sea. Lise helped a woman in her boat who had a pulse burn on her arm and calmed the rest of those aboard. She looked across water to where Ben sat in his boat. His head was down, and she witnessed his tears sadly. Then she wrapped her arms around herself and let memory engulf her.

When she became aware of their surroundings again, she saw that the boats were landing on a huge iceberg. She shrugged to herself at the absurdity and started organizing people to get a camp set up.

The following week, it seemed the perimeter was being attacked. Lise heard the gunshots, and a black hopelessness threatened to engulf her. If the Macronesians were even pursuing them here, there was no hope for the families they'd brought out here. An ache from within herself sent Lise looking at her own heart. A spark had kindled there, and she had no idea why, but while the attack was going on, it grew, and she began seeing the people around her as if for the first time. She felt as if she was awakening from a long sleep.

But the attackers left, and when Ben returned to camp, Lise looked at him more closely than she had in a long while. His eyes held a wildness, and it so concerned her that she cracked her shields and brushed against his mind. Chaos swirled there, and she was appalled to see that a kind of madness had descended on him. She felt guilt for not seeing it before now. She carefully probed further and was utterly stunned to hear what he was thinking.

'SeaQuest_…_ seaQuest. _How… how? They're dead, they're all dead, they can't be… a trick, it's gotta be a trick… hey, wha—_' Ben rushed at her, grabbing her by the arms. "Get outta my head!" He roared. Lise pulled away from him, alarmed by his reaction.

"Ben… what about _seaQuest_? Why were you thinking about _seaQuest_?" She asked softly, her heart in her throat. The wild light in his eyes slowly faded as she stared into them.

"They… they said they were from _seaQuest_. But it can't be true. It can't be!" His voice was anguished, and Lise reached a hand out toward him. He slapped it away and turned, running back toward the perimeter. Tremors started shaking Lise's body, and she sat down, curled against an ice wall. '_Jim… Jim…_' was all she could think.

Where Jim Brody lay in bed asleep, he murmured a name and tossed restlessly. In his dream he could hear her saying his name over and over, but he couldn't see her. He called to her, screaming her name, but all he could hear was her agonized voice saying his name. He woke in a sweat, tears running down his face. It was very like many dreams he'd had of her, but there was something different, something familiar and tangible.

"Lise…" He whispered. He couldn't hear her calling to him anymore, but he suddenly knew where she was. He knew she was alive, and she remembered him.

Jim returned to sleep and was haunted by no more dreams.

When Ben returned to camp the next morning, he called everyone together and explained that they were being evacuated by _seaQuest_. Lise listened to his thoughts, being incredibly careful to not let him know what she was doing, and sensed that he was certain this was real. She slid away from the group and found a quiet place to sit alone.

Lise's hands were trembling, and she clenched them together, trying to focus enough to do what she desperately wanted to. After several tries attempting to reach out while remaining shielded, she gave up, and opened her mind completely. She turned her mind away from those she knew were her fellow refugees, and sent her thoughts _down_, and away. Reaching out farther and farther, until she maintained only a thread linking her to her body, she began to feel him. She snapped herself back like a rubber band and then concentrated her mind on the area she had sensed. The familiarity made her choke for a moment. She forced herself to breath normally, and brushed against the light, the strength, the _beauty_, of Jim Brody's mind.

The reaction was immediate. She felt herself drawn in deeply, felt his recognition, his joy. Her mind meshed into his as if it had last been there mere days before. The whole world seemed to spin crazily as she wrapped herself in his character, his love. She widened the link between them, pushing it to the point of danger, where part of her might not be able to disengage from him. She didn't care. This, _this_ was what she wanted, everything she felt she would ever need again, this feeling of him, of his acceptance.

'_I love you, Lise, I love you so much. You're everything, you're what makes me alive. It's you, it's you_,' his mind whispered.

'_Jim, Jim, I will never leave you again. I couldn't live without you… I've been dead for ten years, and now I live again. I love you. I love you!'_ Her mind cried back to his. They shared one another's minds, and she knew he was on his way back to the iceberg to assist with his second load of refugees. She let him know she would be one of them, and ran toward where the shuttles were surfacing.

With the strange double sight of being inside each other's senses, she saw the hatch open from the inside and the outside simultaneously, and saw herself, and saw him. Their shocks were also at the same moment as she saw that he looked exactly the same, and he saw how hard the ten years had been on her. Lise felt him note the near-skeletal state of her body, even through the layers of clothing, and the haggard, lined face with the bitterness etched into it that even this joy couldn't wipe away. But she saw herself as he saw her, and felt his heart ache at the beauty he beheld when he looked into her eyes.

Jim walked forward and wrapped her into the physical form of the embrace their minds were sharing. He let her know he never wanted her out of his head again, or out of his arms. Lise clung to him and felt the tears she hadn't shed in ten long, spirit-breaking years fill her eyes and overflow. His embrace was the safety, the home, she'd lacked. Her soul sang at the completeness she felt, and his rejoiced with her.

The exchange of emotions and impressions took long minutes, and they were only beginning to reach into one another's pasts to understand what had happened after they'd parted in Kimbe when someone cleared their throat beside them. Tim O'Neill stood there, as embarrassed as he had been ten years prior. As soon as it registered in their minds who it was, Lise threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

"Tim!" Lise cried. The startled Lieutenant hugged her back for a moment.

"Wow! It's great to see you, too, Lise, but you two had better get aboard. This is an evacuation, and Captain Hudson has a schedule to keep," Tim said.

Back on _seaQuest_, Commander Ford oversaw the disembarkation of the refugees. His jaw dropped when he saw who Jim Brody escorted off the shuttle and quickly approached.

"Lieutenant Brody," he said. Jim and Lise looked up. Ford gave Lise a smile, then turned his attention to Jim.

"Please see to Dr. Dawson."

Brody's relief was obvious. He snagged a blanket from where Henderson was passing them out and threw it around Lise's thin shoulders.

"Jim!" Ford called after them. Jim turned back. "Captain Hudson will expect you back on the bridge before the refugees have all been brought on board," he said apologetically. O'Neill came over.

"I'll let you know when the last shuttle is preparing to leave the 'berg," he said quietly. Brody's grin split his face, which Tim barely noticed as he watched Lise's eyes warm as she looked at him.

"Thank you, Tim," she whispered, and Tim O'Neill glowed.

They didn't speak as they walked, but communicated everything that had happened to each of them since she'd left him in Kimbe directly mind-to-mind. She stared at him in wonder when she learned that he had been to another world and back, and he smiled sadly. He felt the pain she experienced when he let her know that Wendy and Miguel Ortiz were dead, and he shared it.

Jim took her to the quarters she'd used before, and they quietly sat down on the bed. She gently opened to him about her physical relationship with Ben, and rode his betrayal, hurt, and confusion. He pulled away from her and stood, his emotions plain on his face.

"How… how could you?" He asked brokenly. She tried to show him how it had happened, and how it had been only physical, that her mind had been with him exclusively, but his feelings were too strong and they blocked her.

"Jim, it's been _ten years_ for me, and until today, I thought you were dead," she whispered. His eyes were filled with tears as they searched her face. "I showed you what it was like for those eight years, with my spirit disintegrating. Ben brought back the tiniest spark of the belief I had when I left you—that what we were doing was the only thing we could. And he knew some of the same people I did from _seaQuest_. We had a shared memory of a place and time when everything still made sense, and we had hope," Lise's hollow eyes begged Jim to understand, and he tried to listen to what she was saying instead of imagining her with Krieg over and over. "So we took shelter in each other, but I wasn't ever conscious that it was Ben I was with. I relived our one night together every time I slept with him, and I was cold and aching inside after because when I opened my eyes, it wasn't _you_ looking back at me. It was the same way for him. And I have _never_ shared my mind with anyone the way I have with you." Fear was rising in her, fear that he wouldn't accept her, fear that he wouldn't be able to get over what she'd done. "Jim, please, _please_, let me show you. I know you'll understand if I can just show you…" She begged, and Jim realized that she couldn't read that he was struggling to cope, and so he went back to her, dropping to his knees and taking her hands in his. He looked deeply into her eyes, then opened his mind to her and nodded.

It still hurt when she showed him, but he knew that she'd told the truth, and that one single lover in ten years of believing him dead showed again how much she loved him. He caught her back into his arms and did what he'd been longing to do since he'd seen her, and kissed her.

When the intercom finally beeped and O'Neill told Brody he needed to return to the bridge, he rose from where they lay entwined on the bed. She helped him straighten his uniform, and his tentative inquiry about their remaining linked even with him on the bridge made her smile. She showed him that if they agreed, she thought she could make a permanent link. His eagerness for that mirrored her own, and after one very focused moment, she felt she'd established a channel between them that would withstand nearly anything. He stroked her face with his fingers, smiling the most intimate smile she'd ever seen, then he left.

Showered and changed into a jumpsuit, Lise sought out the moon pool, and Darwin. She found there two faces she knew well, and they turned from looking sadly at one another when she entered. Her mind felt strong with the link to Jim trickling information to her about what he was doing and thinking and feeling.

"Lise!" Lucas exclaimed. She approached rather slowly, and tentatively hugged him. He returned the hug gently, as if afraid he'd break her. She marveled at the changes she saw and sensed in him. She knew it had been only a few months since she'd left from the perspective of the _seaQuest_ crew, but Lucas seemed to have made the change from boy to man in that time. His thoughts and emotional patterns had changed drastically, and he definitely looked older. She smiled wanly up at him, noting the way he tried to conceal his shock at how she looked. She'd hardly recognized herself when she'd gotten out of the shower, so emaciated and fragile the last few hard years had made her.

"It's good to see you, Lucas," she glanced at the other man, also in a jumpsuit. "Ben," she nodded, and he returned the greeting. She moved up next to the tank, and felt the purity and joy of Darwin as he butted against her hands in the water. She spoke softly to him with her thoughts, and she sensed he understood. After a time, she turned back to the men. Lucas looked at his watch.

"I'd better get to the bridge," he said regretfully.

"I'll see you later Lucas," Ben said, and Lise nodded in agreement. Lucas hurried away, and Lise sensed his grief at what he'd seen in Ben. Knowing Jim had a part of his mind listening in, expecting something, she turned to Ben.

"Ben… I…" She began. He put a hand on her shoulder.

"He's here. I know," Ben said, a half smile on his lips. "You look… different. Whole, somehow." She felt his gentle regret at losing her, but he seemed more lucid, and healthier mentally here on _seaQuest_ than he had been when she'd probed him earlier. She nodded.

"I am," she said simply. She slipped her arms around him in a hug. "Ben, I don't think I would have lasted the last two years without you." His familiar embrace tightened around her. "And I can't go back to that. I can't leave him again," she whispered. Ben smoothed her hair and kissed the top of her head. She felt Jim's joy at that thought and smiled.

"I know," Ben whispered. She sensed how lost he felt, but she also could feel his mind working, trying to figure out a way to continue helping change the world. That driving passion would keep him sane, she thought, especially if he would stay in UEO held territory, working within its framework. She carefully insinuated that suggestion into his mind, and then talked quietly with him about it. In the end he agreed that he would go with the families they'd taken out of Macronesia to wherever the UEO was sending them. He didn't make any promises about after that, but she sensed he would be staying away from Macronesia for a while at least, and she knew she'd done what she could for now. Maybe after he left _seaQuest_ she would make some discreet inquiries about the whereabouts of Katherine Hitchcock and see if she could convince Katie to get in contact with him.

As Ben left the moon pool and Lise turned back to Darwin, she realized she was thinking as if she would stay aboard. She smiled ruefully. She'd better find out what she could about the new Captain and how he ran his crew so she could figure out a way to make that happen. She sent questions through her link to Jim and quickly received several answers that made her smile.

"I'll come back later and swim with you, Darwin," she said softly, and headed for med-bay.

As she approached the door, a man stepped out, and Jim's perception recognized him as the man she needed to speak with. He had a small smile on his hard face, and she sensed he was much more sensitive than his crew probably thought.

"Captain Hudson," she said. A stoic mask slammed into place on his face as he turned, his hands coming up as if he expected an attack. She noted his injuries and assessed that he'd been in a fist fight. She mentally nodded at her good fortune.

"Yes?" He snapped. She smiled and approached with her hand out.

"I'm Dr. Lise Dawson," she offered. He nodded slightly and she knew he'd been told about her. She picked up that it was Commander Ford who had briefed him regarding her. She hoped fervently that that was a good thing.

"Dr. Dawson, I believe the other refugees are in the areas assigned to them, why aren't you?" He shook her hand, and she sensed his curiosity about her.

"It seems my clearances are still good on _seaQuest_, and I was coming to med-bay," she said. His eyes narrowed. "I wanted to talk with you, Captain, if you have a minute." He nodded shortly and led her to a conference room.

"Say what you have to say, Doctor," he said. She got the impression from him that he expected her to begin some sort of political diatribe about the ills of Macronesia, and that he was steeling himself for it.

"Let me get right to it," she said, and sensed that she'd caught him off guard. "Captain Bridger had put in a request with an offer for me to transfer to the medical staff of this ship. I had skills he felt would be useful. In the past ten years I have honed those skills beyond what any doctor in the UEO can possibly imagine. That offer is still active in _seaQuest_'s computer, and I would like to accept it."

Lise met Hudson's measured stare with one of her own. They both knew that the offer was likely only still listed as active on _seaQuest _since her systems hadn't been fully updated, and not at UEO Command, but she'd piqued his curiosity.

"To what skills are you referring?" He asked. She smiled and leaned forward. He backed off slightly, but she didn't touch him and he settled, watching her closely. She frowned slightly as she concentrated. He had severe bruising across his ribs along with the bruises and abrasions on his face. In the space of two breaths, she'd speeded the healing process on all his injuries phenomenally, and he jerked upright. He took a deep breath and rubbed his hand across his ribs. Lise sat back in her chair and smiled. She found herself able to draw some strength from Jim to supplement her own barely adequate energy and noted it so she wouldn't exhaust him if he were in a bad situation.

"I can do much, much more than that, and I really don't know how much more I can do if I'm allowed proper food and rest. Out there, I had precious little of either," she said. His eyes appraised her again, and she sensed he liked what he saw.

"We'll see. You can stay on for a two week trial period. Report to Dr. Perry after we've dropped off the refugees," he said. She grinned and felt her excitement reflect back from Jim, and the stoic mask cracked for a moment and Hudson smiled back. He hooked a thumb toward the door. "Go. You look like you should start that rest right now."

She paused in the doorway. "You won't regret it." He looked up sharply, and she felt herself grinning again. "I am a _great_ doctor." He looked away and she sensed him trying not to chuckle.

"Get out of here," he grumbled, and she laughed aloud as she left him alone. He stared after her, wonderingly. He rarely allowed himself to make snap judgments, preferring to let people show him what they were made of, but he found himself liking the tiny young woman with her not-quite-deferential bearing and bright smile.

In the following weeks, Lise found herself in a strange friendship with the seemingly impassive Captain. He sought her out to talk with on several occasions and found she was wise beyond her years, and that he enjoyed her company. He turned a blind eye to her relationship with his second officer and the fact that Brody's quarters became nothing more than a storage unit for his uniforms. The Lieutenant's performance had improved dramatically with Lise on board, and he didn't begrudge them what happiness they could find. He unhesitatingly signed her on permanently to the medical staff, and Dr. Perry reported to him each new "miracle" Lise performed. Hudson kept meaning to send those reports back to UEO Command, but he knew they'd want to take her if he did, so they sat on his desk, awaiting a brilliant idea for what to do. Later, there came a time when he looked at those reports with uncharacteristic regret, wishing he'd sent them, no matter the consequences.

When Lieutenant Henderson was captured by the Macronesians, Jim and Lise conferred closely through their mindlink. He was unsure if Lise would understand how anguished and responsible he felt for Lonnie's capture, but her love reassured him.

'_Go, Jim, I know you have to. You wouldn't be _you_ if you didn't. And it's not like I won't be right there in your mind with you through it all_,' she told him. And so he went to rescue his friend, and took a deadly pulse rifle shot to the chest protecting her…

Dr. Perry worked furiously, and Lonnie clutched Jim's hand. Lise's horror of what she could tell was happening to Jim's body was incapacitating. She felt the beautiful character and energy which was the Jim Brody who was attached to her mind flickering, sputtering, and spasmodically clutching at her where she stood immobile across the med-bay. He was dying, and nothing the doctor, or Lise herself did, would help. She knew it absolutely and with no doubt. Panic overwhelmed her, but as she gasped a breath into her lungs, clarity descended. She mentally grasped the edges of the channel between them, forcing them wide, tearing through her own mind to make way for the inrush of Jim's. She opened herself totally to him, and felt him do the same. The parts of themselves which always remained individual blended, and she knew what they'd just done was irrevocable. There was no more 'Lise' and 'Jim', there was only one person. He/she felt the wound in his/her chest, and blocked the pain. She/he sighed with the relief, and their thoughts and feelings were one. Sorrow at not being able to do more, and at the pain his/her passing was going to cause. Relief that they were together. Pure and shining love. He/she sensed Lonnie's wild emotions as she begged him/her to stay with her, and she/he knew they had to say something to her to let her know it was all right, that to save her life had been the only way to complete his duty, to make up for her being captured at all. There had been no other option, and his/her heart held no regrets for it.

"With your shield or on it," he/she choked out, knowing that there was an enormous connotation to the phrase, and also knowing they had no breath left to say anything more. Then the darkness encroached and the slipping sensation overwhelmed him/her. Light was fading, and they detached from the dead flesh that had been Jim's body. There was floating, and then a light, and a hand shaking some other flesh, and her/his eyes opened a crack and looked up at Tim O'Neill.

"Lise…Lise!" He cried. His voice was full of pain and panic. She/he sensed his grief, saw him look over to where the doctor was frantically trying to do the impossible. Again, a soul must be soothed, reassured, before they could depart.

"Tim," she/he whispered. O'Neill's eyes returned to Lise's face, and her corpse-like pallor was belied by the burning intensity of her eyes. He held her, having been the only person to see when she'd collapsed.

"We're together. It's what we want," the voice was barely a whisper, and Jim's crooked smile curved Lise's lips as a final breath sighed out and the slipping became a rushing, and her/his final thought was that now she/he would know what happened after this.

"Oh, oh," Tim sobbed when the light faded in Lise's eyes. "Oh, God," he prayed. "Please bless them and keep them." He pulled her body to his and held it close, crying softly, but knowing he was only crying for himself. What she'd said was absolutely true. In the time since Lise's return, they had lived for each other, and he thought he understood why she'd chosen not to go on without him.

"What is your final analysis of the cause of death, Dr. Perry?" Captain Hudson asked wearily. Two crewmembers in one day was such a high price to pay. The loss of his friend, and her amazing abilities was even worse.

"I am listing it as unexplained heart failure," she answered. The Captain's eyes narrowed.

"But that isn't what you believe happened?" He asked.

"I'm really not sure. I think that Lieutenant O'Neill's explanation makes more sense. Dr. Dawson certainly had enough control over her mind and body to link her mind to Lieutenant Brody's, then shut down her own body, but I don't think the UEO would accept that under cause of death."

Hudson nodded slowly, looking down at the report on his desk. He'd truly liked the woman, and respected the man. He'd envied their happiness together, but he knew it had come at a steep price to both of them. Maybe this was the final reckoning for their joy. He shook his head sadly, remembering.


End file.
